Third Culture Kid(s)

If only a mildewy smell and damp air weren’t emanating from the air duct every time the heat comes on in our rented house.

If only I were not fretting about being a better mommy to my baby instead of letting the television raise her while I obsessively check my email.

If only I could find a therapist on which to dump all of my problems, even though this is probably not the job of a therapist in the strictest sense.

If only I weren’t freezing my ass off in our icy-cold house because I’m keeping the heat down low to encourage air duct drying in hopes of getting non-mildewy/damp air to come out of the register.

If only I weren’t busy Googling Parkinson’s symptoms because I have a crick in my neck and an occasionally twitching finger or two (which are also linked to stress, btw).

If only I had my free childcare back in-state and not off galavanting on the sunny, warm beaches of Hawaii.

If only I had done even 15 minutes of dissertation writing today, yesterday, or any other day before that going back at least three weeks.

You know…I’m normally a pretty happy person. Not especially outgoing, but optimistic, happy, sense of humor…I really, really miss that person.